Why should I forgive anyone if they hate me or hurt me?
This whole forgiveness thing features quite heavily throughout the Bible and for good reason too, it's a visa in our passport to eternity! When you forgive, It's for your benefit, not theirs!
I mentioned in The Big Picture that satan coerced Eve and Adam into sin. They did something wrong separating them from God.
At the time 'Man' couldn't simply say, "Ooops, sorry God, I dropped a clanger there."
God had to create a way of changing the balance of power seeing that now satan was in control of the earth.
Initially there were sacrifices, including blood sacrifices, that paid for our sins and meant that God had forgiven us. This was called Yom Kippur, The Day of Atonement, which still exists today in Israel that Jews adhere to, i.e. the day of forgiving sins once they had been paid for. Although they don't sacrifice animals!
However, paying for our sins is one thing but forgiving them is all together different. It says in the Bible, in 1 John 1:9 "but if we confess (tell God) our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness."
Also in Psalms 103:12 in the Bible it is written that "He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west."
So what does this mean for a Christian? Becoming a follower of Jesus means we have been made right with God because we believe in Him, Jesus and The Holy Spirit! This is what righteous means.
Also, we have been justified. "Just as if I'd never done it." Once we make Jesus Lord of our lives, we become new spirit beings. This means regarding forgiveness, if we say what our sins are and we are genuinely sorry for doing it/them and try not to do it/them again, God will forgive our sins, no more questions, no more sacrifices! Job done!
As part of this, we are sanctified, made holy.
So that's the first part of forgiveness; God chose to forgive our sins, now, in turn, we have to forgive other people who sin against us. If we do not or feel we cnnot forgive others, how then, can God forgive our sins? It's important you read Matthew 18:21-35 as this explains it perfectly.
Not forgiving others, means that we will hold grudges and become embittered. This 'state' allows the enemy, satan, to get a foothold in our lives and can mean other negative factors or issues arise. It's a bit like being told to hold a stone at arms length, it get's heavier and heavier, to eventually you can't hold it up any more but you still keep hold it up. Then, Jesus comes along and tells you you can put it down (and then says you didn't need to pick it up in the first place!).
Our objective is to freely forgive! But it doesn't mean that you can or should allow anyone to sin against you again and again.
It is not them, it is what's inside them, making them behave that way. Therefore forgive and move on, use your discretion, but don't simply roll over.
The critical element about forgiveness is that we must forgive others in order that God can forgive us.
Forgiving others releases the burden from us. Forgiving others also means we give permission to forgive ourselves. It may be that you don't even see or speak to the other party, but forgiving them releases you from the pressure of holding a grudge.
Think about it now. Remember that person who really, really upset you. Think about how you feel right now. Think about how it would feel holding a large brick in your hand, held out in front of you. You can imagine it getting heavier and heavier and heavier. Now put it down! Feels good huh! Well that's what we have to do when it comes to forgiving others. Put it down, yes! just like that...
An important note to mention here. Forgiving others does not mean you are given them carte-blanche to keep sinning against you. There are family members, abusers and out-right psychos who want to control, hurt and damage others. We are still to forgive these people, but also, sheer intelligence tells us to keep away from them. Even if it means involving the police. They could even be sent to prison because the laws of the land stipulate they must pay for their behavior, nevertheless, we are still told to forgive. And iof they don't repent, they will suffer the wrath of God and be thrown into the lake of fire for eternity. But that is between them and God.
There are also situations when you keep forgiving again and again, possibly family and they keep doing the same thing to you over and over. In these situations, you have to let them go. You may have shared your faith or done everything you can to get them to change. But sadly some people will not change. Keep them in your prayers, but also keep away from them as they can be toxic and bad news for your well-being.
Don’t be mislead by religious people. In Luke 5:32 is says Jesus came not to call the righteous, but sinners TO REPENTANCE. Yes he sat and ate with sinners, but, there was an expectation by Jesus that they would change their ways and become believers and get baptised. Jesus had no intention of hanging out with sinners because they were a bit of fun!
The same applies to those who have sinned against you or hurt you. After you have understood and forgiven another who has hurt you, you are not expected to allow them to continue doing the same thing to you or to another person. Acceptance comes from the other party ceasing and repenting (recognising their fault and not doing it again).
It says be wise as snakes and soft as doves (Matthew 10:16). Be careful out there…
Stealing Your Peace
Jesus left us with His peace (John 14:17), but what did He mean by that? You have already experienced the pain and resentment of harbouring anger, hate and unforgiveness. Now imagine that didn't exist. Imagine your are simply aware of a fact, like cookies are sweet. It has no other impact on you except you knowing a fact.
This is the peace that Jesus has left with us regarding forgiveness. To learn more about forgiveness and how many times you should forgive your brother or sister in Christ, take a look at our article and podcast about why we are told to forgive 70x7 times.
