How to Understand the Behaviour of Friends vs Family
You can choose your friends but not your family. Choosing the right company as a Christian believer can be difficult as we all have skeletons in our cupboards when it comes to family, but for so many people, they seem unable to get past what someone said or did.
This article is a sweeping brush overview and I understand that some people have some serious issues they need to deal with to the extent that the Police may need to be involved, so I'm not simply advocating one thing to the exclusion of anything else. Whist we have the power of prayer, this world also has its laws which were put in place by man. Therefore we are still subject to those laws no matter what.
I want to start with who the accurate head of every family is - yes you guessed it's, Jesus. Jesus is at the top, followed by the husband, who the Bible says is the the spiritual head of the family, followed by the wife and then the children (1 Cor 11:3 & Eph 5:23). There are various opinions on this - so what, who cares, God makes the rules, so let's carry on! Now we've established the pecking order, let's see where this leads.
Always keep in mind, because we're in training on this earth, NONE of the things that happen to us, or because of us, are insurmountable.
The key here is forgiveness. We are told that we must forgive otherwise, how can God forgive us?
Hurt people, hurt people
When family members hurt us it seems like they've managed to get in deeper than anyone else! The fact of the matter is that 'hurt people, hurt people'. Knowing this alone doesn't help, but combining it with the knowledge that it's not the person that did 'it', but what's influencing them.
People who say or do hurtful things have been influenced by others in their past. Sadly this has a knock-on effect. If the influence has been from previous family members, this is called iniquity, which is mentioned 262 times in the the Bible (the King James Version) so you can see that these issues have been going on since the beginning!
But it's not just family that influence people, there are many such pressures. And the main culprit is the enemy satan. He wants to destroy families in any way he can and he will try it by influencing or whispering one person who says or does something to another and the cycle continues.
Spirit is thicker than blood is thicker than water!
You have heard it said many times before, blood is thicker than water when referring to family. We are supposed to be closer to family than friends, co-workers or someone in the street. However, when you become a Christian, you are baptised into the family of God and are then baptised in the Holy Spirit too. This means that Christians are part of the same family, heirs to an amazing inheritance.
Therefore, becoming a Christian will make you closer to your Christian bothers and sisters than your blood family/relations, especially as your Christian family will all agree on God's Word, i.e. The Bible. It mentions in the Bible in Luke 12:53 "They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.” Therefore, it is not surprising that some will not agree with you!
Once someone makes a commitment to become a follower of Jesus and they get baptised, they are adopted into the family of God. Strange as this may seem, we then become higher than angels (Hebrews 2:7) and joint heirs with Jesus (Romans 8:17). So when God looks at us, he sees Jesus. Therefore, nothing on this earth will ever separate us from God (Romans 8:39). That's why we accept our new positions as family members and take up the mantle which is to act like a blood-bought child of the most high God and claim dominion over our families.
How to deal with 'that' person
Whether it's a family member or friend, there has to be boundaries and those boundaries are whetever you feel or believe are appropriate, and not anyone else's.
This is not a catch-all. I have had or have my own experiences and therefore I can and only speak from my personal perspective and if that helps, well, that's great.
Knowing evil drives every bad thing, the trouble is, many people become so used to behaving badly it becomes second nature. Don't forget, people sin not just because of satan, but because they like it. I am not Jordan Peterson, but he will tell you, there are loads of reasons people do bad or spiteful things to others, but we're not here to head-shrink them, only to help ourselves move on, leaving them in their own world until such time they decide to get out, apologise and change their lives.
If you're reading this, you're not dead, therefore the ball is on your court. You can choose to forgive and when you do, you are letting go of what they did to you. You are not forgetting, nor are going to allow them to do 'whatever' again, i.e., your boundaries come into play.
Praying for change
God's plan for us is to give the enemy a good kicking (and I don't mean the family member!!!). We are to pray out loud wherever and whenever we can. We are to get others to come in to agreement with us to change circumstances. It's exactly like standing at your front door, pointing outside and demanding that the 'bad' influences leave right now.
I know this might seem strange, but here's the thing. Christians believe in God and acknowledge that satan exists. One third of the angels followed satan out of heaven and they are now his demons. They are the 'beings' that cause havoc on this earth. Because of the authority and power given to us when we say and believe in Jesus, we are able to command spirits to leave people, houses, families and so on. I know it's a bit strange to get a handle on this but actually its completely Biblical and that's how it's always been. I'll give you one guess as to who is responsible for people to not know about this, yep! you guessed it, satan.
If you want to find out more or want someone to talk to about joining the believers 'family', get in touch.
To read more about Forgiveness, click here!
